Politics and Work
Our next performer is currently working out of Toronto. He's promised to take us into the seedy world of the discount department store. So let's have a warm welcome for Mark Bennett.
Audio - 90 seconds
OR here is a text version»
I shouldn't have quit my last job - it was a chick magnet. I used to work over at Wal-Mart. Girls would walk in and you could tell what they were thinking: 'Look at him in that blue vest. <SNIFFF> He smells like discount prices.' No, a lot of women did come in, it's just that they were crazy as shit. Everyone is so hell-bent on 'customer satisfaction'. 'I demand customer service. This is terrible customer service. Where is my customer service? I demand it! I will not settle for anything less than complete and unending satisfaction!' This is an actual conversation I had with one woman: 'Um, now, when I'm at work, I often go from a warm environment to a cold environment...will this pen be equally as effective in each climate?' 'Well, That's a good question. When we had it in the lab...the test results were interesting - you'll like this - we cross referenced all the data and it showed that...that I make seven dollars an hour! Most of my co-workers don't have a high-school education. They're confused by the microwave in the breakroom. Do you see where I'm going with this? Buy the 30 cent pen before I stick it in your warm climate.'